Returning to the Edinburgh Fringe for her second year, Erika Ehler tackles the subject of friendship break-ups in her new show I Got Some Dope Ass Memories With People That I’ll Never F*ck With Again. Here Ehler chats to Pepper&Salt about her new hour, friendship break-ups and deconstructing uncomfortable moments.
What is the elevator pitch for your show?
It’s basically just it’s a show about friendship breakups. And I went through a couple recently and it’s kind of just me navigating through that. And I think it’s something that’s pretty common in your 20s, surprisingly. We put an emphasis on romantic breakups, but I think friendship ones are just as brutal, if not more. There’s a lack of third spaces, where we used to meet people, and apparently while we’re going through the regular recession, we’re also going through a friend recession. Like, we’re at an all-time low for platonic connection.
How do you approach this theme, especially considering how niche of a subject it is?
Through my own way, I’ve researched it for like the last year, because I’ve just been trying to figure out ways to cope. I found out like a lot of data on it and different coping mechanisms. But I think also just approaching it with a bit of light, I guess, because it’s obviously not an easy subject. It doesn’t sound funny on its own. But I think there’s funny ways about it, like figuring out how to deal with it. I’ve put myself in situations that maybe I wouldn’t have if I didn’t go through losing two close friends of mine. I’m more willing to just like throw myself into weird situations. I’m trying to think of like an example of one… I went to go see DJ Pauly D with like, two acquaintances of mine, you know, from like Jersey Shore. I kind of went because I thought it’d be funny to just go see this like reality star DJ. But like, the place where we went is like called Rebel Nightclub in Toronto. And I don’t think I would step foot in that place again, it was just so it was so gross. Like, there was a guy – who I don’t know if he had flesh eating disease, or if he put on a like fake makeup- but it looked like he had like a bullet wound and an exit wound as well. No way it’s a real bullet wound, because it just doesn’t actually make any sense, whatever it was. And then he was just kind of like showing his neck to everybody. So, we would have characters like that around. And then I have these two friends who I’m not that close with. But you know, we now have all these like, stories that we can be like, “Oh, remember that guy? Wasn’t he crazy?” I think if I was still in my comfort zone, I would maybe I would miss out on seeing the bullet guy.
We don’t speak about this whole experience of breaking up with friends very often, why did you choose to approach this hour from that angle?
Just because, it’s personal to me. And I think like, we don’t talk about it, but doesn’t mean that it’s not happening to a lot of us. I think one thing I’ve noticed with previewing the shows, even in my earliest one, which I was surprised about, like the first run through I did of it, I had people come up to me and say, this is a really relatable topic, like, I want to hear more. Because I think at least, you know, in our lifetime, all of us have had one or a couple, even if it’s small, even if it was from childhood. You know, I remember something, something as silly as like, forgetting to return somebody’s pencil could cause a falling out. But it’s something that I think, if not talked about, it’s very common and should be talked about, because one thing that happens is you feel really isolated while it all goes on. So, I think because we don’t talk about it, that isolation just continues.
What was the writing process like for this show?
It was a bit different, I guess. Like, I think I had to mine more into my own life, whereas before with other stuff, I could just kind of just really, really exaggerate small things that happened to me, and I think this is a little more true. I didn’t really have a director, somebody to bounce ideas off of. And I do now, I’m working with a guy named Jet Vevers. And it’s been good to have someone to have someone, if I could pitch an idea, and then they laugh, and I’m like, “Okay, so this isn’t bad.” It’s kind of good to have that confidence building. And then also, he helps me structurally. Also, for this one, I think, a lot of the writing process for this one has been a bit different, because I would have to look up certain stats or stuff, and then kind of go off to the back of that to write it, find a joke within the stat, things like that. I guess it’s a little bit more narrative based. I mean, not largely, but loosely, which is more than I used to have.
“we put an emphasis on romantic breakups, but I think friendship ones are just as brutal, if not more. There’s a lack of third spaces, where we used to meet people, and apparently while we’re going through the regular recession, we’re also going through a friend recession. Like, we’re at an all-time low for platonic connection. “
How have you found that balance of telling your story and experience, but also finding the line of what you’re comfortable sharing on stage?
I think what’s helped is that I’ve just tried to just say facts, I guess, because there is like an uncomfortability, an uncomfortable space of opening up to a room full of strangers about something that happened to you. And there’s one particular part in the show where I always feel really, really uncomfortable talking about, just because it’s like… I don’t know, it’s just uncomfortable for me. I think because it is kind of emotional, that’s why I get somewhat uncomfortable. And I spoke to a friend, and he was like, “I think what you need to do is you just need to not really put too much detail, just boil it down right to the fact, what did they do? And then, and then I don’t think you’ll feel, like, for lack of a better word, cringe.” So that kind of helped. But it is a weird place to be. Because I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie, The Big Sick. It’s like Kumail Nanjiani. There’s this one point in the movie where he’s a stand up in the movie, and he talks about his partner, who’s, like, very sick. And they did it on a real audience in the movie. So, he was doing stand-up, like, properly. And then he just immediately tells them about this gut-wrenching story about the love of his life, who’s, like, dying. And it’s an uncomfortable moment. I kind of do want to avoid that. I think sometimes comics think that pure honesty will reward them. And I think it does, to an extent, but that there is too much where it’s just, this doesn’t serve the story or you.
What is something from your first year at the fringe that you learned from and you’ll take onboard for this year?
I think one thing I’m going to try not to do, but I’ll know that I’ll ultimately do it anyway, is just try not to compare myself to others, because I do think it just takes away… joy. And ultimately, I’m not doing it for them, I’m doing it for me. But it’s gonna happen. I just do know it’s gonna, it’s unavoidable when you’re in, like, an environment with all your peers. But I think that is one thing that I’m going to actively try to not do.
What advice would you give to someone making their debut this year?
I think it would be the same. Just try not to pay too much attention to others. And make an attainable goal. Mine my first year was to become a better comic. And I know for a fact I did do that after my first year at the Fringe. And just enjoy it. Don’t be afraid to have a night out with your friends while you’re there. Blow off some steam, because it does help a bit.
Apart from your own your, what shows would you recommend?
I’ve seen, like, a preview of Olga Koch’s new show, which is really fun. She’s exploring a really interesting subject, and she’s being quite vulnerable in it. I saw a preview of, um, Rachel Fairburn’s show Side Eye, where she does characters, which is a new side to her. She normally just does straight stand-up, and it was really interesting. I’m really keen to see Keemah Bob’s debut. A good friend of mine, Josephine Lacey, will be up during an hour. I work with her a lot, and I just always love watching her. I think she’s so funny. I’m sure there’s more I’m missing, but off the top of my head.
By Katerina Partolina Schwartz
Photo Credit: Rebecca Need-Menear
Pepper & Salt 
Leave a comment